Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Randomize
