Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
