And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
