I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize