I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
