Define "chronic" masturbator.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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