he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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