Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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