I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
