Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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