What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
