You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
