My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
