i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize