Betty ford says i'm here all night
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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