I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
