but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
