The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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