what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
