Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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