The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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