Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize