Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
