Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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