i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
