Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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