I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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