ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
