dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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