I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
My cat gives me a boner
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
