i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
