So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
