why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
