okay pat passed out under dana's car
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
