escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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