sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
