we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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