But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
