the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
