Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
