If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
