He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
