What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize