took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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