If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
