dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
