Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
