Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
