Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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