My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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