return my video game
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
