I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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