chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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