wake up i wanna do it froggy style
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
