R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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