I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
