So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Why are your pants in the freezer?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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