just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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